Sunday January 7, 2007 07:00
Jessica Simpson Very Sexy

Jessica Simpson has a super-tanned and sexy spread in the December issue of Jezebel magazine. I’ve never heard of said magazine, but I do read my Bible three or four times a day, so I know that Jezebel was the wicked Israelite queen who fell out of her tower and got gobbled up by dogs. So I’m not entirely sure why Jessica’s showing up in a magazine with that moniker. Do pop stars with failed albums and floundering movie careers do a pictorial in this magazine before they “go to the dogs,†so to speak? Has Jessica recently fallen out of a tower window? Is she an idolotrous whore facilitating the decay of modern-day Israel? Nobody knows for sure. The one thing I do know is that Jessica Simpson finally looks sexy again, so I can go back to masturbating to sexy pictures of her instead of hitting up the Bible four times a day. It never quite filled the void, you know. To see real nude pictures of Jessica Simpson and other nude celebrities click here now!!
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